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Dramatis Personae
 Harry Gelford is the Security Guard at the Ontario Royal Museumical Institute of Antiquated Preservation (ORMIAP). Harry's based on me, or at least the uptight and slightly whiney part of me. In his defense, he took the job as a security guard because he thought it would allow him lots of quiet, restful time to study. The best laid plans...Harry was an archeology major, but he switched pretty quickly once he met Wendell. Harry's the straight man, the patsy, the dope, the hibdibbler. It's classic comedy construction. He's also, for some reason, the hardest to draw. |
 Wendell Suken-Ra is, strictly speaking, the star of the strip. He's mostly a combination of the most obnoxious traits of various ex-roommates of mine. Wendell lives to annoy Harry (though he mostly thinks he's being cute, or affectionate). Anyway, having had nothing to do for the last 5000 years except be "on display" has made him pretty laid back. Shiftless, one might almost say. Actually, you would say it. Most Mummies rise from the dead to enact vengeance; Wendell only rises for coffee. Anyhoo, whether you find yourself relating to Harry or Wendell as you read the strip is a significant indicator of something. I have no idea what. |
 Roberto Xipinque Octotl Achancha Velasquez (named, at least the first part, after a Mexican friend of mine) is a Mesoamerican stone statue who's Wendell's best buddy. The two of them have a lot in common, as you might expect. Roberto's maybe a bit less lazy, and he loves the wine and the women and the song. Also he's had several hundred years of experience in recreational pharmaceuticals, besides coming from a culture that considered mind-altering drugs to be holy, so he definately has a primo stash. First appearance: Sept 19th, 2001 |
 Irving, being a cubist painting, has a...special...grasp of reality. He's a very odd guy who likes to set things on fire and tends towards very strange obsessions. Actually I still haven't even figured him out, and I'm the one who freaking created him. Is he a cute nutball? Is he concealing something? Is he simply addle-headed? All I know is that he looks cool and has already become the favourite character of a number of people. First appearance: Sept 21, 2001 |
 Rex kinda balances out the other nutcase artifacts at the ORMIAP by being just a normal guy. Well, normal undead dinosaur guy. Unfortunately, he's also a bit of a loser in the game of life. He was recently downsized and is currently struggling to find a purpose. Originally he was going to have a bigger role, but Irving kinda took over as the third member of the "gang". Never fear, though. I love drawing Rex, and I think some of the things he has to say are really insightful. He's the first character to surprise me by being a bit of a philosopher. First appearance: Sept 28, 2001 |
 Edith Kaufman is Harry's girlfriend. She's generally very positive and open, but her experiences with Wendell and Co. have put her on the defensive. The ORMIAP crew actually give her a harder time than Harry...another detail based, unfortunately, on real-life observations of some college-age guys dealing with girls. So far Edith's had kind of a rough time of it, but she can take care of herself. She and Harry actually have a very loving relationship, but whenever Wendell and Roberto are around it tends to be a bit overshadowed by bickering. First appearance: Oct. 16th, 2001 |
 I don't know anything much about Earl yet. He's another guard at the museum, he has the morning shift, and I guess he's Harry's boss. He's really just a plot device right now, but I like the character design so you'll probably be seeing him more often. First appearance: Sept 28th, 2001 |
 Frieda is another of the museum's artifacts, a greco-roman statue. Like most of the others, she's not too agreeable; she's convinced everyone is hitting on her. As usual, I know far too many people like Frieda. She seems to be seeing Roberto, though I don't think that can go too long without them killing each other. First appearance: November 19th, 2001 |
 Goober: Irving's mysterious "friend", apparently a gigantic Paleolithic fish. We haven't actually seen him yet... |
 Chad Goone & Boscoe Thugg are two local entrepeneurs whose fondness for the good things in life have led them to pursue a policy of agressive capital gains. Meaning, they steal stuff. These guys are actually the twin brothers of Brad & Roscoe, who tried to rob the ORMIAP and fell prey to Goober. Will these two have better luck? Time will tell...First appearance: December 6th, 2001 (Well, technically it was their twins, but whatever.) |
 Tam DeLorean is the slightly demented femme fatale who tried to appropriate Harry's money and ended up as a sidekick to Chad & Boscoe. A mere month of living the high life have left her...well, amply proportioned...which seems to suit Boscoe just fine. First appearance: January 10th, 2002 |
 Buford Simms: The head of security at the ORMIAP. We've all had bosses like Buford, haven't we? Loud, agreeable, and with the sophistication of a frat boy. First appearance: March 25th, 2002 |
 Fernesto So far on the cutting edge he fell off a while ago.First appearance: April 22nd, 2002 |
MORE CAST LISTS:
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